Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Nobody said it'd be easy

But they did say it'd be worth it. My little man is 8 days old today and we had our follow up appointment with the lactation consultant. When I first scheduled it, I really wasn't interested in going. After all, how hard could breastfeeding be? Just put the baby's mouth on the boob, right? Ummm, no. That's what I thought and that's how my ladies have gotten jacked in these past 8 days. Little did I know, there is a latching technique that's very important. Who knew? So after about an hour with the lactation consultant, Troy and I got the latching down. It's just going to take a little more paying attention on my part, which is hard to do at all hours of the night, let me tell you.

I am going to be honest ladies. In these early days, breastfeeding just wasn't jiving with me. To be honest, I hated it. It hurt so badly, and it wouldn't let up like they say it does. I would jolt my head back in pain and Nick would have to squeeze my leg to get my mind off the pain. Yesterday I actually broke down and cried while I was nursing Troy. One of my nipp's had taken quite the beating and I was so ready to throw in the towel. I would pump, because I do want Troy to get breast milk, and formula is OUTRAGEOUS and I just can't afford $300 a month on formula. Today turned my attitude around. I'm going to work on his latch, now that I have a better idea of HOW he should be latching, and we're sticking to it. The lactation consultant did say there was a big tear (glamorous, no?) and infected part of my left lovely lady lump, and to put a mixture of cortizone 10, montistat, and polysporin on it 8x's a day for about a week, don't nurse on that side so it can heal, and just pump on that side and let Troy nurse on my right. So tonight, we are trying the bottle with the milk from my left side. PLEASE GOD LET HIM TAKE THE BOTTLE WITH EASE!!! I had to go out and buy a new pump that the consultant recommended. She said the one I have, while it is a good brand (Medela), the model wasn't the best for new mom's who aren't used to breastfeeding and it can hurt the crack on the nipple even more. So I made my 1st ever trip out with Troy. He was passed out like a good boy and I ran in Babies R Us and CVS faster than Charlie Sheen's next cocaine binge being reported. We got home, I was feeling good with my new purchases and it was a GORGEOUS day here in Sac town, so I strapped him in his stroller and made a lap around the apartment complex. I will admit, I do have the "baby blues". I find myself wanting to cry and feeling overwhelmed and missing Nick when he's at work, that I break down. This morning, I said a prayer asking God to give me patience and help me with breastfeeding my son. I prayed that the lactation appointment would help me in giving Troy the nutrients he needs to grow and be healthy. My faith is strong with the Lord, and I know he provides, so I will lean on Him during this hard time...and a bottle of wine <---- kidding :P
There is something about getting out of the house that I will recommend that ALL mom's must do. If you don't, you will pull your hair out. It's way more scary than I thought, but it has to be done. Get fresh air, open your windows so fresh air breezes in do anything you have to, but get out and breathe some fresh air and get into the sunshine. Another big helper has been hanging out with family and friends. Since Nick has been at work this week, it was SCARY. A baby by myself? What happens when I have to change his diaper and he's screaming? Or what about when I need someone to talk to? It was scary, but having a loving supportive circle helps.

This new chapter in my life has been a huge "culture shock", but I wouldn't trade it for anything. People tell me how I'm going to miss this time, even if it's hard to see now, and I believe them. I look at Troy and he's already looking more like a baby and not a newborn. His hair is lightening up and in the sun, you can see a hint of auburn (my hair color when I was born), so I know he's bound to get lighter every day.His face is filling out, and so are his clothes. He's still in newborn clothes and size 1 diapers, but he's gaining more and more weight everyday. At the consultant's office, he weighed 8lbs 5 ounces! My milk is like cream I swear :) Bottom line, is I love this little boy more than I've thought possible.


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12 comments:

Katie said...

I'm glad your enjoying mommyhood! I'm so happy for you Karli!
Sorry breastfeeding has been hard. I know you know, but I'm not a mommy and have no experience in this area. But I have heard it is difficult sometimes. I hope you and Troy get the hang of it.

I can't imagine having a baby and not going out for some fresh air. I think getting out of the house and getting fresh air is needed all the time!! no matter what the situation is. It helps you clear your head alittle.

Stay well :)

erin said...

I really appreciate the honesty of this post! It's so encouraging. I hope the breastfeeding gets better; I am super anxious about that as well, especially since I'll have to pump when I go back to work, and I just don't know how it's all going to work out, but God does! We can trust Him!

Kit said...

What kind of pump did you end up getting?! I can not wait to experience the love that you are experiencing now!!! =)

Traci said...

The first 4-6 weeks are HARD with just a teeny tiny bit of fun in there. I remember thinking this mom thing sucks! Either it gets better or the culture shock has worn off and you just get use to it, not sure but it does get so much better

I also had latch problems and I started pumping and four months later I'm still pumping. I've got a post coming up about pumping...I just have to put the finishing touches on it. My first piece of advice get a hands free bra or make our own with a sports bra. Then you can feed the baby and pump at the same time...or you can blog, email, whatever.

Kourtney said...

I'm sorry you've had a hard time with breastfeeding. But I think most everyone does. And if they don't they are just the few lucky ones. That is awesome that you're working with a lactation consultant. I didn't get any support and ended up pumping full time for almost 7 months so my son could be exclusively breastfed. Not fun! But stick with it! I've heard you should try nursing for at least 6 weeks before you give it up. Good for you for being so determine!
I can tell you, my child has an AMAZING immune system and I believe it was from receiving breastmilk. My husband also has a great immune system (he was a BF baby) and mine is pretty crappy (I was formula fed). My child has had one little tummy virus his whole 15 months of life (knock on wood!:-)). And he is sooo very smart. I owe these things plus more to the breastmilk without a doubt! Keep with it girlie! You're doing awesome.
And I could not agree with you more on getting out into the sunshine daily if possible! That and, like you also mentioned, a good support system will get you through the rocky phases so much better!
Glad your little guy is so healthy!

Mrs. Stethoscope said...

O girl... all I can say is Dont give up.... did you read my post awhile back about what boobie feeding was like for me the at first.. it was pure hell.. I cried, it hurt worse then labor, I got a nasty infection, was engorged, had a baby with latch problems....BUT it gets better... email me if you need any support....

If your infection gets worse just call your doc they can give you an antibiotic to get you over it quick.... it may sound weird but cold cabbage leaves will sooth the pain, and nursing right after a HOT shower will help too....

what about a nipple shield until they are not cracked and in pain.. it helped me soo much.. it takes the edge off.

Email me

{N} Jones said...

So sorry you are having a hard time, but try to relax and enjoy your sweet little bundle. I am sure it will get easier with time. Please remind me of this in May when I will have a newborn and breastfeeding :) Do you mind sharing what kind of pump you ended up getting now? I was registered for the medela one, but would love to hear your recommendation. Take care hun and know God is on your side!

Annie said...

ok, now you have me really nervous!! but i'm glad you are being honest and sharing everything. it's very informational. i hope the feeding gets better, as i'm sure it will. and i hope you heal soon too hun. i've always read the first few weeks or so are the worst. i'm glad to hear your little man is growing and is healthy though!

i'm also curious what kind of pump you ended up getting?

hotpants™ said...

I didn't breastfeed so I have no advice there. In general, it will be tough. It does get better though.

Heidi said...

You're writing is so real. If I knew any expectant new Mom's I would point them right to your blog. Too many people talk all about all the warm, fuzzy feelings and the good stuff, but there's alot of tough stuff in there that IS real.

Even though I had long stopped remembering these early days, your post brought it all flooding back. I remember the pain and the cracks, the frustration, the insecurities ... and the undying love you had no idea you had in you before this little person became your world. Know that all the tough stuff WILL pass and you will be an old hand at it in no time. Also, with subsequent children it will be easier.

Jennifer Guardado said...

Karli..I admire you for breastfeeding & being so strong to contintue. I also did not breastfeed. I did pump for 6 weeks just so Abby could get the colostrum. But she was a formula baby & very healthy. Keep taking your little walks & get some sunlight if you can. Hang in ther girl!! Take care!

A Real Housewife said...

it gets better! you just have to give it a little time before you really get in the groove. sounds like you're doing great, though. i'm not going to lie...breastfeeding is exhausting. that feeling hasn't quite gone away for me yet (i'm almost 12 weeks in), but i just can't switch to formula knowing how much healthier breast milk is. i can't believe troy is already in size 1 diapers. that's awesome!